at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
