Pappa wants mamma naked
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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