It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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