ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
