About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
