Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
