I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
