Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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