what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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