the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Randomize
