Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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