I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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