boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Who died my cat blue again?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
