Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
