Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
