Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
