She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
