who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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