Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
