either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
