You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
