They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
