Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am available for nakedness
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
