I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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