Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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