I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
