My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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