Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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