you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
