Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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