update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
