thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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