Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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