bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
