Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
