just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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