i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
