I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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