Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
