you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
