I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
im holly from the hills drunk
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
