Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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