tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
