i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
