how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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