u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
