i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You dont lie about slip and slides
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
