Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
