She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ladies don't puke and tell
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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