I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
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