your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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