worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize